Explaining Suicide

Suicide is a topic often surrounded by silence and shame. It is hard for adults to understand let alone explain it to children. However, it is crucial for the child who has experienced someone close to them dying by suicide to have the opportunity to talk about suicide with trusted adults.

Children can learn to cope with difficult situations if they can talk about them openly with the adults they can trust. Children work hard to make sense of the world around them. If they do not have the opportunity to talk about the death and how it occurred, they often try to make sense of the loss through self-blame. They often seek multiple conversations with their caring adult to help them process and give them reassurance. Avoiding conversations around the death may increase the child’s sense of shame, fear, and confusion.

How to talk to children

Use honest, direct, age-appropriate language. Encourage the child to continue the conversation at multiple times with any questions or concerns.

Use the word suicide and death. Indirect explanations of death and suicide can cause confusion and potentially more fear.

Define suicide for your child. Suicide is when a person does something to themselves to make then die. Most often, people who choose suicide are severely depressed and believe it is the only way to stop their pain.

A person who dies by suicide can be described to the child, as someone who was sick in their mind, causing them to not think clearly and choosing to not make safe decisions.

Emphasize suicide is not a solution to problems and there are other choices

Talk with your child about coping with sadness and other difficult feelings. Help them to identify things they can do such as talking with someone, or using art, music, writing or physical activity to express their feelings. Give children creative and healthy outlets for connection.

Children often fear for the safety of their surviving guardians. Share with children, as their trusted adults, that you will seek help from friends and professionals if you or someone else in the family is sad or feels hopeless.