Answering Questions

Frequently asked questions by children and ways to answer them

What does dead mean?

Dead means that a person’s body no longer works.  A person stops breathing and their heart stops working. They can no longer feel, see, hear, taste, or smell anything.

Will the person who died get cold or wet when it rains? What do dead people eat?

When a person dies, their body no longer works.They do not feel, see, hear, taste, or smell anything. Because their body no longer works, they don’t need to eat.

Who will take care of me?

You will always be cared for. I will take care of you.

What if something happens to you?

Explain to the child who would care for them and all the things that person would do if something were to happen to you. For example:

“I am going to do everything I can to be safe, but if something were to happen to me, Uncle Billy and Aunt Susan would take care of you.  They will make sure you get to soccer practice, help you with your homework, and make sure you have everything you need.”

Where do they go now and how do they get there?

This is an opportunity for you to share your personal/cultural/religious beliefs with your child regarding what happens after death.

Keep in mind that Heaven can seem like a place someone may be able to come back from or you can go visit. Saying, “We lost your brother today and he is now in Heaven” can confuse the child. The child may think, “Well let’s go get him.” It is helpful to be clear Heaven is a place people only go to when they die.

What is cremation?

Cremation is when the person’s body is placed into a special box and then in a room where it gets very hot. The heat helps to change the person’s body into cremated remains or what many people call “ashes”. Some families bury the remains or ashes in a graveyard or other special place. Other families keep the remains or ashes in a special container called an “urn”. Remember, because the person is dead, their body does not feel anything and this does not hurt them.