Teen girls’ mental health at risk — what can parents do?

Teen girls are in distress — that’s the bottom line from a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report released in February. The report analyzes recent data as well as trends over a 10-year period about adolescent health and well-being.

In 2021, nearly 60 percent of female high school students reported feeling persistently sad or hopeless, and almost 25 percent had made a suicide plan.

“Unfortunately, these results weren’t surprising at all,” says Kianna Carter, LICSW, supervisor of the youth engagement services (YES) program at Mary Bridge Children’s. “They line up with what we’re seeing in the community and in our emergency departments — behavioral health concerns among teen girls are rampant.”

What’s fueling the mental health crisis among teen girls?

Many factors may be driving this crisis, including unprecedented rates of violence. Almost 20 percent of female students experienced sexual violence in the past year, according to the report.

Another likely culprit of this uptick in mental health concerns is social isolation, worsened by the COVID-19 pandemic.

“A sense of connectedness is critical for teen development, and unfortunately we have a whole generation of kids who were socially isolated for an extended period, and now we’re seeing the repercussions of that,” Carter says.

While stay-at-home orders and school closures are in our rearview, teens emerged from those experiences to a social landscape that was permanently altered.

“Even after schools reopened to in-person learning, the sense of disconnection and lack of belonging many teen girls felt has persisted,” says Sally McDaniel, LMHC, LMFT, SUDP, CMHS, clinical manager of Child & Family Services at Greater Lakes Mental Healthcare, part of the MultiCare Behavioral Health Network.

Teen girls used to socialize in person more often — visit each other’s houses, go to the movies or another location to spend time together — but this isn’t as frequent as it used to be, says McDaniel.

“Many teens who are struggling rarely interact in person with friends outside of school,” she says.

Instead, teens are interacting with peers online via social media, which likely has its own role in this crisis.

“Social media often gives teens this distorted sense of reality,” McDaniel says. “They’re connected to people online perhaps, but the relationships often aren’t genuine, and they don’t know how to put the content they’re seeing into perspective, which can harm their self-esteem.”

A 2019 study published in The Lancet noted an association between social media use and symptoms of depression among teens, and it was stronger for girls than boys.

While the news about teen girls’ mental health may be alarming, there are actions we can take to better support them — and teens of any gender.

1. Strengthen the parent-teen relationship

Teens feeling disconnected from peers may also feel disconnected from their caregivers. How do parents foster a deep, meaningful relationship with teens?

“Having conversations where teens can be vulnerable shows them that their feelings and experiences matter, which does a world of good.”

McDaniel suggests aiming for short but frequent quality interactions where there isn’t pressure to talk about serious topics — the goal is just to spend time together.

For example, you might go to brunch on the weekend or take a walk. It could also be as simple as asking teens to keep you company on an errand.

“It’s often during these low-stakes interactions that teens may feel comfortable opening up about what’s going on in their lives,” McDaniel says.

She also emphasizes the importance of communicating love, not only in words but through actions, which sometimes speak louder than words with teens.

“Show your love by finding out what actions teens value most — whether that’s offering to help them with a difficult homework assignment or simply making their favorite meal — and make these efforts part of your routine,” McDaniel says.

2. Have frequent discussions about social media use

A 2022 Pew Research Center study found that 35 percent of teens use at least one of the five following platforms “almost constantly”: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook. However, this constant use doesn’t mean they understand how social media is affecting their health.

“Adults need to have regular, candid discussions about social media use with their children,” Carter says. “You likely won’t be able to shift a concerning behavior in a single conversation, but the goal is to plant a seed and constantly come back to water that seed, bringing awareness to social media habits over time.”

To start the conversation, she recommends asking teens:

• What social media accounts do you follow or what apps do you use and why?
• How do you feel when you’re on social media versus when you’re not?
• What do you like and dislike about social media?

3. Talk regularly about feelings and hold space for those feelings

Parents and caregivers should frequently check in with teens about their mental health, in addition to social media use.

“If teens confide a concern, the most important thing parents can do is hold space for them, which can feel really uncomfortable,” Carter says. “Holding space means to validate how they’re feeling and triage a situation the best you can.”

“Triaging” may mean admitting you don’t know what the next steps are, or don’t fully understand what they’re going through, but that you’re committed to listening and helping them figure it out, she adds.

“Having conversations where teens can be vulnerable shows them that their feelings and experiences matter, which does a world of good,” Carter says.

4. Spot the signs of a mental health concern

Sustained changes in mood and behavior can indicate something is troubling teens. Watch for changes in the following areas:

• Eating habits
• Sleeping patterns
• Grades
• Friendships
• Amount of time spent socializing
• Interest in and feelings about school
• General outlook

So, what should you do if you witness a concerning change?

“Talk to your teen about what you’ve noticed and frame it in the format of an ‘I’ message, which is less likely to put them on the defensive. For example, ‘I’ve noticed that you seem a little down,’” McDaniel says. “If they don’t want to talk to you about what’s going on, then offer to let them talk to someone else.”

That someone else might be a school counselor, a school social worker, a mental health therapist or another caring adult in their lives — a coach or a teacher, for example. There are also confidential online resources available, such as teenlink.org (more below).

If your teen discloses thoughts of suicide, never dismiss it.

“Teens’ mood patterns shift quickly, so passive thoughts of suicide can quickly escalate to having a plan for suicide,” Carter says.

If you feel your teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, or visit your local emergency department.

Visit healthychildren.org to learn more about the early warning signs for mental health concerns among kids and teens and when to get help.

Crisis resources

• Teen Link
• Teen Line (also offers resources for parents and caregivers)
• Trans Lifeline (peer support for transgender individuals)
• LGBT National Youth Talkline (support for sexual orientation or gender identity-related issues)

Teen mental health support resources

• Society for Adolescent Health & Medicine
• Kids’ Mental Health Pierce County
• Understanding your teen’s emotional health: American Academy of Family Physicians
• Center for Parent & Teen Communication 

This article was originally published in May 2023 and was updated in Aug. 2024.